What no one tells you about becoming a young bride

I remember the day like it was yesterday. My then boyfriend turns to me and says “today is the day we should get married.”

My goodness, it’s crazy (awesome) to know he is my last boyfriend ever!

My heart was thrilled but my head was judge and jury. I knew everything was lining up:
• We’d been courting and knew from the beginning that marriage was down the road for us.

• We’d been best friends for four years and I knew God had preserved my heart through our storms for him.

• I knew that God linked us together spiritually. God would answer my prayers through his statements and fill me with Holy Spirit-led encouragement to pour into him.

But facts aren’t what convinced me. More than anything, I truly just wanted to know and feel the Lord was with me. I needed to know that God approved and would be with us. I didn’t want my heart to travel a direction God wasn’t willing to lead me in.

I felt very much like Moses in Exodus.
“Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”” Exodus‬ ‭33:15-16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I believe becoming a bride particularly when everyone has ideas about what you should be doing with your life, or who they always “pictured you with” etc., is a lot like following Christ for the first time.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬
Often when people first become saved and begin to get involved with the body of Christ, they’ll face rejection. It’ll be an internal battle between the life they’ve grown accustomed to and all the ways they need to grow into their new role as an heir.

They may also face external rejection where friends and family don’t want to hear about “your God.” Or they might not understand the passion you have for a God they’ve never experienced. In addition, a lot of people have been hurt by people/policies in the church and that colors their view of God.
A new bride may feel constricted or like she’s falling short multiple times a day because her desire is now for her husband. Her attention becomes divided for the first time.

“But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:33-34‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Whether you are a new follower of Christ, single, courting, engaged, or married—choose to focus your energy on pleasing the Lord. Becoming a young bride both to God (saved as a teenager) and to my husband (we are newly weds), required me to learn to stand on the Word of God for myself. They both require(d) me to rely on God, seek His Presence, and determine what He’s calling me to do in this journey.
I’m glad I didn’t listen to fear. I’m glad I didn’t wait for everyone I’ve ever known to be on board with what God told me to do. I would’ve missed out on so much of God’s faithfulness trying to live for people.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

If you’re facing a tough decision, remember that God will lead and carry you. Seek Him. Trust Him. In darkness and despair, He’s still there. In confusion, He will guide you. Take the courage and peace freely offered in the Word and His presence. Live the life God has assigned to you.

“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

  • To embrace a community of women following hard after God and their dreams, please consider joining us at the NYC Eve Within Conference this Spring.
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  • Comment below: How has this post encouraged you to trust in the Lord? What area have you struggled to trust Him?

2 thoughts on “What no one tells you about becoming a young bride

  1. Wow!!!! It’s as if you were in my head and wrote what I was thinking and feeling. I thank you so much for sharing this message. It encouraged me.

    Liked by 1 person

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