It’s true! The pregnancy test and samples came back positive! Congrats to you and your family. You have a beautiful and unpredictable journey ahead of you but I believe the best for you!! Personally I struggled with believing the best about pregnancy and delivery until I learned to fight the right way.
1. Identify your fears.
They can’t rule over you in darkness if you shine light on them. Fears creep in when you are alone, at night, when you are not feeling well, when you least expect them. List them and list encouraging scriptures and quotes. Remember, read, and reflect on these when those fears arise.
Personally I struggled with the following:
– the reality of becoming a mom without my mom
– not being good enough
– having the right resources/environment
– problems with delivery (preeclampsia etc.)
I listed these out and focused on scriptures. One scripture I loved was “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”
Psalm 139:13 NIV
Wow, my God was working on my child in the womb. This is a hands-on, all in process. I felt somewhat detached from my baby growing because the process seemed to happen without me. But I found comfort in knowing God and the angels were involved. My baby wasn’t alone in there.
2. Surround Yourself With Community
I felt guilty about calling my friends and asking to speak to their moms. I didn’t want them to feel like I was imposing on their family and I didn’t want the moms to feel like I was prying. But I shed light on my fears by opening up and saying I don’t want you to be uncomfortable so if I ask something you don’t want to answer let me know. But I don’t have a mother on this Earth or any pregnant friends nearby so I need to ask someone.
To my delight and surprise my friends’ mothers were awesome!! I needed to know about spotting (was it normal? Did it hurt?), itching (my legs were on fire until someone suggested mineral oil), how nipples were supposed to react to the change in hormones (yes! It’s a real thing), diet, vitamins, sex while pregnant, and I got to hear raw insight. I thank the sweet Lord for giving me community that empowered, encouraged, loved, and prayed for me.
3. Protect Your Peace
Where there are people, there’s guaranteed to be some unsettling advice. For some reason, people feel the need to share horror stories or advice that you didn’t ask for. I recall specifically saying I didn’t want to discuss certain things. I don’t think people understood but what I was doing was protecting my peace.
I knew what God had shared with me about when I would get pregnant, how pregnancy and delivery would go, how my vegetarian diet wouldn’t hurt my baby etc. I followed my new mommy instincts and godly instincts very closely. Even to the point where I asked my husband not to share negative things with me that others shared with him. I trusted God to carry me and my child. And He did! I’m so glad I didn’t have anxiety issues during pregnancy or labor and delivery. I’m so grateful I protected my peace. I was able to enjoy each stage of pregnancy, a natural labor, and those sweet newborn moments.
Don’t feel like to take everyone’s advice is to be polite. Your grandma and them have been down this road before, but take what you need and toss the rest. You may have different preferences, a different vision for your birth, different things you’re against and that’s okay. This is your process. Own it. Don’t feel guilty about denying shots, tests, advice etc. Don’t feel like you shouldn’t desire delayed cord clamping, a few visitors while in labor, no guests while you give birth practically naked, or whatever it is your heart desires.
You’ve got enough going on with the growing life inside you. The external environment needs to be as stress-free as possible. So kick your feet up and fight like a pregnant woman- full of grace, love, poise, and power.
Photo of my hot husband and cute son! Meet Will and Will 😍❤😭
Please share about your pregnancy, birth, or any comments/questions below! You can read my personal birth story here.